Nate’s Place

Friday’s, when it comes to lunch, is always a double-edged sword.  On the one hand, it’s casual day and I get to wear jeans and a t-shirt in these warmer summer months.  This past week I feel as if I have been working like a hebrew slave, so the chance I get to wear something a bit more relaxing and cooling is always nice.  Also, because it’s Friday, we tend to take a few extra minutes of liberty when we go to lunch.  Our typical hour can sometimes stretch to a whopping 1 hr 10 minutes….Japanese company and all…you take what you can get.

On the flip side, without sounding like too much of a prick, I work with a lot of dorks.  That is to say of the stereotypical ‘nerdy’ variety where fashion, haircuts, and social discussions seem to be a stumbling block.  Half the guys I work with I swear are still virgins or haven’t been laid in years, and in someways these lunches are a test of my patience.  I can’t always talk shop, nor do I want to.  If I’m going out to lunch, I want to enjoy it and leave work at the office.  Why do I want to go out to lunch if we are just going to talk about work at lunch?

Today we went to ‘Soup Plantation’.  Not sure if you know what one of those are, but it basically ‘tries’ to be a somewhat above average soup and salad buffet place.  Maybe it’s one step above Denny’s and CoCo’s on the atmosphere scale, but it’s far from ever being posh.

At the table next to us, was a living, breathing Barbie doll (sorry if you ladies find that offensive, but I’m using it as a pleasant descriptor).  She had to be at least 5′8″ before her 3″ pumps.  Skinny, late 20’s, beautiful skin, long blond hair pulled back into a free flowing pony-tail that came halfway down her back..  Simple makeup and silver stud earrings.  Gray, form fitting business slacks with a simplistic and classy plaid print, and the icing on the cake was her perfectly shaped ‘D’ cups protruding straight out on her black, sleeveless tank top.  She was a ‘9′ on a scale of 10, easily, and not overly done up.

But as you can imagine, she caught all of our eyes, and because my co-workers lack certain ’social graces’, they all began to experience whiplash at the same time.  Because this is a buffet, every time she got up to get something additional, the same comedic display would take place…..5 nerdy guys made it pretty obvious that they were ogling her.  I was one of of those of five, I admit, but I’d like to think I can camouflage my glances much more expertly than these MAC wannabes.

On her last trip back to her table, I heard her say to one of her girlfriends “Gosh, everytime I get up these guys keep staring at me.”, like she just couldn’t understand why we were such obvious pervs. 

Uh, DUH!….Maybe because this is Soup Plantation and you are the hottest thing that has graced the corn bread bar in like 5 years?  You’re walking into the domain of what Wal Mart shoppers consider a 5 star establishment dressed like you came from the set of The Hills, and your boobs are $1 short of an exotic pole dancers, and you wanna know why we are looking at you?  Lady, not only am I looking at you, I have already ate you out and took you from behind in my head.

In her defense however, I suppose I’d feel a bit creeped out if a bunch of dudes looking like they just got off the short bus were staring at you while you ate.  Anyway, we were busted….and I don’t feel all that guilty about it.

A few more hours left before I’m off for the day and go on my three day sojourn with April and my best friend and his wife.  I’m sporting a new short haircut and a little color that I got from the sun last weekend, and I suppose I’ll do some serious manscaping this evening in the shower.  Everyone seems excited to go.  I can’t wait to try some new restaurants, hang by the pool, drink some fruity cocktails, and basically have loads of sex in my hotel room over the next 72 hours.  At least in my head, I plan on being naked much more than being dressed behind closed doors, and I’m taking my new camera.  I even packed a new ‘toy’ for April to use on herself as I sit back and watch.  The only thing I’m a bit nervous about is since we have adjoining rooms, if my friend and his wife will hear us, or us them over the next few days.