Nate’s Place

I shamelessly stole these questions from another site as I thought they were interesting and piqued my own interest on how I recall my past, my likes, my thoughts.  So here’s a bit more of my sordid (or not so sordid) side:

1. Ever Been Skinny dipping?  Yes, only a handful of times.  Each time they were with a girlfriend I had been with for some time other than a single one night stand I had in Hawaii many years ago.  That particular instance was in the warm Pacific Ocean, very late at night with a girl who actually picked me up instead of the other way around.  The other few times include mostly spa’s and a pool.  They all were unplanned, and just sort of happened.  Something is very liberating and sexually gratifying shedding your suit under a summer night full of stars, the sound of a little splashing and the breathing of another person near by.
2. How often do you kiss or make out without it simply being a foreplay activity?  Unfortunately, not enough the last few years.  When I was younger, inimate kissing was a much more active part of my life and an activity I actually miss much more than one would think.  It happened much more with my High School and college girlfriends and dating than it has been as of late.  I like it a lot.  One of the reasons I may not do it so much anymore is sometimes the girls smoke…and it just tastes like shit.  Other times, it seems I am just not as emotionally close to them as I was with past girlfriends.
3. On a scale of 1-10, how content are you with life? (10 is highest).  Do you think ‘content’ and ‘happy’ are the same thing.  If I am to be completly honest with all of you and more so myself, I’d say ‘5′.  There are a lot of things I thought I would have done or accomplished by now that I haven’t.  Some were in my control and I fucked it up.  Some things were out of my control…I often worry about job, finances, family, friends.  I’ve had people in the past tell me somewhere along the lines of life I changed.  I used to be the life of the party, always upbeat, full of life, take no prisoners and now I admit somedays I think I’ve lost my smile.  I can’t point to one exact thing…I think it’s been a combination of many things over the years.  My heart has been broken, I’ve been lied and to, cheated on, manipulated.  I’ve lost my job once, and my shoulder surgeries and a few other minor injuries have affected me in ways that I think hold me back.  And no, I do not think ‘content’ and ‘happy’ are the same thing.  Sometimes I equate content with just being average or complacent….not happy at all, looking forward to the next event with joy.
4. What do you do to relieve stress?  A good work out in the gym does wonders for me.  There’s nothing like the feeling of pressing 300 lbs on my chest and feeling pumoed up afterwards.  I’m in my own world during my workouts.  Other things include pouring myself a favorite drink, playing video games, driving in my car with the stereo very loud, turning off my cell phone, and masturbation. 
5. What was the special trait in your first lover that made you decide that they were “the one?”  She was genuine towards me.  I truly believe even to this day when I spoke about anything, she listened.  The way she would look at me in my eyes.  Her general favorable attitude towards me.  I guess to some it all up, I look back now and really, honestly believe in all my heart she loved me first at the time.
6. Bonus: How old were you when you first has sex?  This isn’t news to anyone who’s read my blog over the years.  I was 18.  I had no idea what I was doing, as most guys don’t the first time.  Looking back, I have mixed feeling about the experience.  It wasn’t that it was with the wrong person, it was the wrong place and perhaps I put too much pressure on myself to ‘get it done’ to proce something to myself the enjoyment for both her and I may have been lost in translation.  The day after was very emotional for me and there was some thoughts, even at 18, perhaps I was too immature to deal with internally.  It’s been 2 decades now, and if I ever rean into my first ‘lover’ again, I think I’d apologize to her and also thank her for what a special person she was.  I don’t think I let her know just how much she meant to me back then, and my first time may have had some wrong motivations behind it, and it was not her doing at all.