Nate’s Place

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To my surprise I recently learned that my Sirius radio now gets the Playboy Radio channel.  I’m pretty positive I didn’t have it before because I made a conscious effort one day to find it and I think I learned I had to pay extra for it. 

After my initial 6 months trial was up from the dealership where I got my new car, I had to decide whether or not to continue the service.  Overall, I’m not overly impressed with Sirius….I still like XM better, although I admit I am getting used to the ‘Wrap Up Show’ on Howard 100…..I still can’t listen to the regular Howard for any length of time, but I do find the Wrap Up show stimulating on occasion.

Anyway, I opted to go ahead and continue service, so I paid for a full year upfront.  It wasn’t explained to me that when I sign up for the full year, I must have gotten the whole package, because one day when I was scanning channels, I had to do a double take when I thought my eye’s read ‘Playboy’.  Sure enough, my ears then confirmed it when I heard Christy Cannon speaking to a guest about her new contract with Vivid.

What?  I’m now getting Playboy?  Well, well, well….This may make the afternoon a little more interesting afterall, since I’ve been getting tired of listening to our economic woes on the O’Reilly factor as of late.

By the time I got home from work, I was feeling a bit tingly down there, sporting a semi from what I was hearing listening to these porn stars talk.

However, now that I have been listening for at least a week I have a few comments about the channel; both good and bad….and I plan to talk about two specific shows (Night Calls in the afternoons and the Playboy Morning show) in more detail in upcoming posts.

So at a 30,000 foot view point here’s what I notice:

• ‘Music to Fuck By’ is an interesting concept, but I haven’t heard enough to really deliver the goods.  It may have a lot of potential, but I’ve been mostly hearing outtakes or commercials for the show…and well…it’s not as erotic as I was hoping for.  Too early for me to really give a judgement ruling on yet, but so far….a bit of a let down.  So far the songs I pick on my own I think are much better.
• ‘Afternoon Advice’ is actually okay.  Some of the advice is actually decent and I give credit to some of the callers for ‘intelligent’ questions and topics.  Although you get the occasional nutjob in there and then the advice can get get a little wonky and eye brow raising.  Some of the women calling in sound sexy, playful, and serious…They come off better then the men do.
• The ‘Playmate Audition’ audio vignettes don’t do much to counter the stereotype that most Playmates are airheads.  These usually last 45 – 60 seconds, and generally consist of some wannabe Playmate stating why she should be a centerfold.  You’ll be hard pressed to find any actual substance here other than a lot of giggling and sentences stringed together that say things like: “I’m, like, unique.”, “I’m, like awesome so I would make, like,  a great Playmate.”, “Um, I always wanted to be one since I was a little girl you know?”.  And I think I’m quoting the most intelligent ones here.  Hey, as a guy, sure I like the ‘airheads’ from time to time…but to me you just became a ‘toy’ in my book,  but I want an intelligent person as well.  Intelligence can be a turn on and sexy as hell too, so give us guys some credit as well, and let us hear some brainiacs.
• Many of the girls that I’ve heard interviews of are obsessed with the word ‘cornhole’.  Er, I don’t care how sexy you are, or a centerfold, or if you’re into lesbian experiences to tantalize my fantasies…when you start referring to your asshole as a ‘corn hole’ and bringing it into the conversation for who knows what sake….I’m no longer turned on.  You sound stupid and immature.
• I’m really surprised how many of these women curse.  Not all of them mind you, but some of these women could make a sailor blush, and there really isn’t anything sexy about a woman whose every other word is a curse word (especially when you’re not talking dirty).  Is the gratutitous dropping of the ‘F-Bomb really that necessary?
• Some of these girls private lives are so damn hot.  You put up with some of the fluff and bullcrap to hear in great detail how some of these hotties have planned a seductive tryst for their man, or what they do to themsleves for gratification.  They leave nothing to the imagination, and I’ve caught myself with more than a few boners as of late.
• There’s a lot on sports.  More than there should be in my opinion.  Hey, just because I’m a man doesn’t mean that everything not having to do with women/sex on Playboy needs to be about Football.  Ugh…I listened for 30 minutes straight about some stupid fantasy football league this morning I don’t give a crap about.  It seems when the hosts run out of things to say…Football is the standby topic.
• Most of the guys that call in…creep me out…and that’s coming from another guy.  I get this mental picture of these either socially inept men (balding, slightly overweight, insecure about something physical) or a redneck, filthy trucker calling in because these are the only other women they can talk too short of paying for a whore at teh Chicken Ranch.  All these guys call in and think they are the ‘bomb’ or sugar-daddy’s.  Everyone of them.  They call up and say in this borderline baby talk high pitched creepy voice: “Hey precious”, “Hey baby”, “Good afternoon darling”, “Hi honey”, etc….  Ew, they just sound like these 40+ year old dudes who are the pervy guy at the end of the bar hitting on the 20 somethings….and it’s so fake and forced.  I usually have to turn the channel when these guys get on because the mental picture of these sloths drooling over pornstars and playmates, especially with their ‘cutesy’ and ‘oh so clever’ played out un-original lines, just want me to shake my head in disgust as a man. Ick.