Nate’s Place

Yeah, I know I’m falling behind in my posts.  I also have a true story I started but haven’t been in the mood lately to finish it off.

Instead, I’ve been thinking a lot about college and my experiences there this past week.  For many teens, both girls and guys, this is the first time they’ve been away from their parents watchful eyes and comforting roof over their heads.

It’s a time where many will take their first steps into a brave new world, and for me, I can’t help but feel a little envious of them all.  Especially when it comes to sexual discovery.  For many, it will be the first time where they truly have a place of their own, and late night parties and new people will bring on new experiences. 

Many will discover what it feels like sleeping all night long next to a warm body they just met hours before.  Some will get laid for the first time.  Some will truly have their first love.  Some will learn the pain of a long distance relationship and that cute high-school couple that would never break up…will do just that.

There will be some girls who will discover what it is like to kiss another girl.  There will be hookups at bars, at frat houses, in alley ways, in the backseat of cars.  Students will come up with creative ways on how not to wake their roomates up.  Some will sneak into the library and have sex, others a quickie between classes. 

Showers will be shared, and some will find the joys of digital photography and hidden cams all that more delicious and salacious.

And sadly, with every favorable experience, there will be plenty of bad ones as well.  There will be heartbreaks, betrayal, cheating, perhaps a few close calls when it comes to pregnancy, maybe a STD, and someone will sex that the other did not consent to. 

I think back to my college years….I fell in love…more than once….And had my heart broken…more than once.  I ate chocolate cake off off of Bella’s perfect pussy for the first time…I learned what a pearl necklace was…..I was both blindfolded and tied down by another.  I had drunken sex in an alley, and woke up a few times wondering if I’d ever call her or if she would ever call me again.

Like photographs burned in my retina, I have a perfect recollection of certain events.  Ones that I wish to savor forever, and a few I’d like to turn back time and forget…but can’t.  I can remember hookups…what they were wearing, what I was wearing, and wht I did to them, or them to me.

I miss it a lot….that is certain experiences…but not exactly sure I’d like to relive them again.  I’d like to think I grew up to a certain extent.  I was an explorer…an adventurer….I was the Christopher Columbus to the Panty Islands…and now, I just wish to settle down and think how lucky I was that nothing serious ever happened.  On the flip side, my heart was indeed broken.  I dated quite a bit during my 5 years in school.  Sadly, i can’t remember all the names and I sometimes feel ashamed to say that.

There were 3 others however: Bella, Sandy & Sharyn. 

I know Bella is married and has a son now.  That hurts a bit from time to time.  I often wonder if that should have been me.

I also know Sandy is married as well and has 3 daughters.  This too pains me to a certain extent as I look in the mirror and wonder if it was me who screwed up.

I don’t know what happened to Sharyn, and perhaps that’s a good thing.  If I found out she was also married with children, maybe it would be too much for me.

I loved them all for different reasons, and all three caused me variable degrees of pain, but here I am 15 years later and I can still feel their individuals bodies underneath me.  I hear their whispers and moans in my ear.  I close my eyes and smell their essence and feel their hair between my fingers. 

Lord, I miss each one in thier own way and they have moved on, whereas I still linger and cling to the past, envious of the new breed of students who are about to share the same things I did all those years ago.