Nate’s Place

Okay, I’m gonna do something rare on my blog.  I’m gonna apologize for my last rant.  So to all those that were/still are offended regarding my diatribe against liberals, please excuse my rash behavior.

The medicine that I have been taking the last two weeks have had some really nasty side effects….such as: extreme bloating, increased urination, light-headeness, constipation, and restless sleep.  Finally after two weeks, I’m off the medicine and my body is trying to re-adjust.  I figure my mood has been affected as well as suggested by some of my peers.

One nice thing that seems to have resumed is the ability to make my morning dookie.  Whoa!  Someone shoulda called the Guiness Book of WR this morning as even I had to pinch myself to make sure I wasn’t dreaming.  I released one of the most amazing sewer eels this morning back into the wild that I ever had the pleasure of seeing.  I literally did indeed weigh 5 pounds lighter aftwerwards and felt as if I could tighten my belt one extra notch.  Good Gravy!

I watched Swingtown the other day, the premiere epsiode.  I didn’t know this, but I read elsehwere it was intended for HBO, but they passed due to the fact they already had Big Love and Tell Me You Love Me and figured they may be overdoing it in that genre.  It’s too bad, because these type of shows really do need to be on premium or expanded cable channels and not the basic ones.  I suppose it helps they put it on at 10pm, but it was a little racy….and oddly creepy for me to as someone who may be open minded to that sorta life-style.  Actually, the more I think about it, I’m okay with that lifestyle if you aren’t married….There was just something odd in the way it sat with me watching fictional married couples with children swap partners….Probabably because they were next door neighbors as well.  If they lived far apart, or one couple wasn’t married, or didn’t mention the children, I may have accepted it better mentally.

Anywho, the best part of the show was the music and props.  A lot of memories came up for me as a child as the main characters walked through a grocery store, circa 1976.  I *remember* the products, as I also was familair with many of the other set design props.  Music was phenominal, and that alone may make me come back.  One thing I do realize about the 70’s….the haircuts were so friggen lame.  They must be the ugliest hairstyles of all time.  I guess one other good thing about it not being on HBO is they may have to show actual untrimmed bush….something I am not fond of…wild & untamed secret gardens.  Sorry Judy Blume….

I may be going to some Rock Band Championship in a few weeks.  OMG, I am such a dork and nerd.  But yes, I asked my ‘band’ if they wanna go watch…and they all said “Yes.”, as if I were stupid or something, so I suppose I’ll be going in a few weeks.

Lastly, it may be possible there is a new girl at my work who may fancy me.  I don’t think I’m interested though.  She’s a temp in our legal department.  She’s tall and skinny and of light african-american background.  That’s not why I won’t entertain the idea of hooking up…more because…well….she seems kinda stupid and overly ‘needy-sweet’.  The last few days she has been calling me to take a look at some equipment in her office for the most inane reasons.  I have to show her things like 10 times and feel like I’m speaking to a 5th grader to make sure she understands…..and yet she doesn’t seem to be grasping simple mechanical operations.  I can imagine this 30 something still has training wheels on her big-girl Barbie bike with streamers off the handlebars and card in teh spokes because it sounds and looks ‘neato’.  She’s very nice, but I have to raise my eyebrows on some of the things she asks me.  And then I think.. “She’s in our legal department.  That can’t be good.”  I know I’d really re-evaluate her if I was thinking about hiring her for that position.

The dirty side of my mind wonder how she’d be in bed though.  She’s so sickly ’sweet’ and prim and proper, I can just imagine what humping her would be like.  It may be oddly ‘hot’.  Like she would be the constant virgin, no matter how many times we did it…it would always seem like the first time with her perfectly pressed Mervyn’s attire.  Think of a female version of Carlton from the Fresh Prince of Bel Aire….prim/proper/straigh laced/naive/nerdy.  I can’t imagine her wearing a thong or g-string at all…she seems more like the cotton jockey girl or floral printed panties (not lace).  I don’t picture any sexy lingere, more the pajama gwon type.  I’m sure she has a cat named ‘Boots’ or ‘Buttons’ to complete the picture.

I know one of my co-workers thinks she likes me too, but this is all just speculation.  Actually when I see her extension come up on my phone I cringe….not because I don’t like her….I just wonder how stupid the question is I’m about to get.  “Nate, does my electric pencil sharpener need to be plugged in to work?”

BTW…If you guys are still reading up to this point, well, I changed my mind on my former apology….Liberals are indeed Whiney Ass Bitches.