Nate’s Place

Yesterday I was listening to the mindless drivel which is Cosmo Radio on Sirius either because I really am that bored of any other program or maybe I tempt my sanity on putting up with the same mindless talk day in and day out.  It always seems to me that the hosts seem to take them 10 minutes to get out a single point and espousing the listeners to call-up by repeating their phone number 20 times a minute ad-nauseum. 

Anyway, Sarah and Brian (the hosts) they were speaking of yet another variation (I swear, it’s basically the same topic every other day) of lame relationship “What if’s”…when finally someone said something about getting that one-person out of your head.   They were referencing ‘The Hills’ of all things and how I guess Lauren is hung up on some guy, and most likely why she is hung up on him is that she hasn’t fulfilled all her conquest mindset in one matter or another.

They went on to wonder how many people out there in a current relationship would through it all away to go back to something just to fulfill a fantasy, even if it were a brief fling.  I think it was Brian who asked how many women would be willing to risk a 3 year relationship with their current boyfriend only to spend a week or so with some guy from their past to possibly ‘get them out of their system’.

For the first time in a long time this actually got me thinking of my own desires and ‘unfinished business’.  I was becoming intrigued by some of the responses…..including my own thoughts.

Bella is my Achilles heel.  My blog entries in the past cannot even do justice to the amount of emotional turmoil and ridiculous amounts of arguments we had.  We clearly are two completely opposite personalities with opposing viewpoints on just about everything under the sun.  Yet, for only God knows why, I can’t get her out of my system, and it has been practically 15 years.  Even when we were officially broken up (for the 10thtime it seemed), we always managed to ‘hook up’ under the most inane circumstances.   I lost a lot of respect for her when she cheated on her boyfriends….but she cheated on them withme.  I’m not sure if it was the thrill of the chase, the taste of the ‘forebidden’ fruit of getting something you aren’t supposed to have, and maybe the thrill of getting away with it.  I don’t know.  But i don’t blame her.  Hell, as much as I despised that behavior, I was just as guilty of participating and luring her over and over again.  Perhaps I empowered her, and she empowered me.

As I continued to drive home, my wheels started spinning again and the underpaid data technician within my head began digging up the old A/V tapes of yesteryear and began to play them in my head all over again.

It was if I was watching a sexual montage of Bella’s and my body twisting together in all the real scenarios we experienced together in 3 second blocks.  There was her on top of me wearing only a t-shirt, there was me fingering her in the car while she drove, there was us in the backseat of my car making the two headed beast, the time she asked me to tie her up, to cum on her chest, to eat the chocolate frosting from her wet snatch, giving me head in an alley way in the cover of darkness.  Oh Bella was a fine teacher…I really do owe her a lot in that regard.  She worked her wiles upon me and I was hooked.  Many of the techniques she first introduced to me were repeated many a time over with others I had been with since.

You’ll remember I stated a few months back I tracked her down.  I have her phone number.  I know where she works.  I know she’s now married and has a young son.  As tempted as I am, and believe me, I am….I won’t interject into a marriage.  Heck if she was divorced or just dating, I most likely would call again….but not now.  I may be accused of a lot of things, but a marriage-wrecker…nope.

You know, today, I can still almost paint a perfect picture of her naked body in my head.

So why am I going down memory lane again today?  Well it leads into an upcoming post about goin’ commando.